“Do not search for me, but search for yourself. It is not me that you need, because the only thing that really matters is you. What you yearn for lies in you, as what you are, here and now.”

~Prabhuji

 

The story of my life is an odyssey from what I believed myself to be, to what I truly am… It is an inner and outer pilgrimage. ‎A journey from the personal to the universal, from the partial to the total, from the illusory to the real, and from the apparent to the true. A wandering flight from the human to the divine. My story is not public, but profoundly private and intimate. It belongs not to the commotion of social life, but it is a sigh kept in the deepest recesses of the soul. Whatever awakens at dawn, rests at dusk; every flame that is kindled is extinguished at the end. Only that which begins, ends; only that which starts, finishes. But that which dwells in the present is neither born nor dies, for that which has no beginning never perishes.

I am a disciple of seers, enlightened beings, shadows of the universe who are no one and walk in death. I am just a whim or perhaps a joke from heaven and the only mistake of my beloved spiritual masters. I was initiated in my spiritual childhood by the moonlight who taught me its light and shared its being with me. My muse was a seagull who loved to fly more than anything else in life. In love with the impossible, I traversed the universe obsessed by the brightness of a star. I traveled countless paths, following the traces and vestiges of those with the vision to decipher the hidden. Like an ocean yearning for water, I sought my home within my own house.

A simple autobiographer, a narrator of significant experiences sharing his intimate narrative with others. I do not claim to be a guide, coach, teacher, instructor, educator, psychologist, enlightener, pedagogue, evangelist, rabbi, posek halacha, healer, therapist, satsangist, psychic, leader, medium, savior, or guru. I allow myself the boldness and daring to represent nothing and no one but myself. I am just a walker whom you can ask about the direction you are looking for. I gladly point you to a place where all is calm upon arrival… beyond the sun and the stars, beyond your desires and longings, beyond time and space, beyond concepts and conclusions, and beyond all that you think you are or imagine you will be.

I paint sighs, hopes, silences, aspirations, and melancholies… interior landscapes and sunsets of the soul. I am a painter of what is indescribable, inexpressible, indefinable, and unconfessable of our depths… Or maybe I only write colors and paint words. Aware of the abyss that separates revelation and works, I live in a frustrated attempt to faithfully express the mystery of the spirit.

Since childhood, little paper windows captivated my attention; through them I traveled places, met people, and made friends. Those tiny mandalas were my true elementary ‎school, high school, and college. Like skilled ‎teachers, these yantras have guided me through ‎contemplation, attention, concentration, ‎observation, and meditation. ‎

Like a physician studies the human body, or a lawyer studies laws, I have dedicated my entire life to the study of myself. I can say with certainty that I know what resides and lives in this heart.

My purpose is not to persuade others. It is not my intention to convince anyone of anything. I do not offer theology or philosophy, nor do I preach or teach, I simply think out loud. The echo of these words may lead you to the infinite space of peace, silence, love, existence, consciousness, and absolute bliss.

Do not search for me. Search for yourself. You do not need me or anyone else, because the only thing that really matters is you. What you yearn for lies within you, as what you are, here and now.

I am not a merchant of rehashed information, nor do I intend to do business with my spirituality. I do not teach beliefs or philosophies. I only speak about what I see and just share what I know.

Avoid fame, for true glory is not based on public opinion but on what you really are. What matters is not what others think of you, but your own appreciation of who you are.

Choose bliss over success, life over reputation, and wisdom over information. If you succeed, you will know not only admiration but also true envy. However, jealousy is mediocrity’s tribute to talent and an open acceptance of one’s own inferiority.

I advise you to fly freely and never be afraid of making mistakes. Learn the art of transforming your mistakes into lessons. Never blame others for your faults: remember that taking complete responsibility for your life is a sign of maturity. When you fly, you learn that what matters is not touching the sky but the courage to spread your wings. The higher you rise, the smaller and less significant the world looks. As you walk, sooner or later you will understand that every search begins and ends in you.

 

Your unconditional well-wisher,
Prabhuji