“When someone clearly expresses that they do not wish to continue a relationship, the most sensible thing to do is to accept that decision with dignity. It is not about denying the inevitable pain, but about preventing insistence from compromising one’s integrity. Every breakup requires a process of elaboration that may include therapeutic or emotional support, but it must be based, above all, on self-respect.
Losing the love of another is painful; losing self-love as well is a form of inner dispossession. That is why withdrawing firmly and soberly is an act of care. Being courteous to someone who decides to leave does not imply giving up personal dignity.
No one is obliged to continue loving, nor can anyone completely justify falling out of love. Asking “why don’t you love me anymore?” rarely provides clear answers. Falling out of love cannot be explained: it is simply a fact. Even if there is confusion on the other person’s part, emotional insistence will not dispel it. A respectful and silent withdrawal is more eloquent than any reproach. It is not up to the person who has been abandoned to restore the other’s emotional clarity or prove their worth through suffering. Turning devotion into a demand nullifies its meaning and transforms the bond into a relationship of debt, generating more rejection than regret. Nor can a bond be sustained by showing the worst of oneself. No one is “enough” in absolute terms. Even in love, the other is not experienced as fully fulfilled all the time. We are not here to respond to idealizations, but to share life.
A meaningful relationship is based on desire, shared plans, intimacy, and a common language. When these elements disappear, the bond loses its substance. Someone’s decision to leave does not necessarily imply a lack of ethics.
The greatest pain often comes not from abandonment, but from the loss of one’s symbolic place in the eyes of the other. It is not just the absence, but the shattering of the image of being worthy of love. That dignity, however, does not depend on external approval. It is not defined by the desire of another. It is up to each person to recognize—not in an abstract way, but with real awareness—that they are worthy of love, even when they are not.”
Prabhuji
